Resolve to Evolve in 2010

For several years I've been touting my innovative (says I) approach to the concept of the New Year Resolution. Why a different approach? Well, as a trainer as well as a person who tends to have a lot of ideas about what I want to do, I've noticed that a Resolution at the start of a new year isn't really all that effective for many people. I think it's because a resolution is typically a big thing, something that has been festering for a while, something that seems worthy of a giant statement and effort.

The problem with all the above is that resolve is determination, effort and tenacity--much more than a statement you make. But that's what a Resolution often ends up being: something you say. Or write. All over your fridge and bathroom mirror and in your journal. As in, "It is written, and so it shall be done."

Now, don't get me wrong. I believe in statements of intention. In fact, I MORE than believe in them, I actually feel statements of intention are among the great healers and helpers we can develop in our lives. So yes, by all means, have intentions for all you desire and all you wish to be. State your intentions. Tell me, tell your old dog, tell yourself what you intend. And then yes, start working on it. Get going on what you intend.

But maybe don't call it a Resolution. And also, maybe don't just schedule your efforts in regard to your big priorities in life for the start of the New Year. Because if you think of things you want to do or be in, say, June or September, why not put some resolve behind your efforts then? Or if the new calendar really inspires you (I love calendars and lists, so I get that), remember that slow and steady wins the race, it's true. People who make New Year Resolutions often get really excited about the energy they will devote to their goals at the start, but then Life Reality returns to remind us that there's still a long way to go, and more to do.

We are the ones that will make the difference in ourselves this year. Not our Resolution.

Whatever happens is going to come as a result of who we are and what we do, way more than what we want and what we say. What we really need is not to resolve to change, but to evolve into the person we wish to be. To be evolving, I think, is much more rewarding and a much richer experience, than to be resolving. Plus, it works.

I know, because I've put it to the test. I've been choosing how I'd like to evolve for about ten years now. I bring awareness to the parts of me and my life that I'd like to further develop. Sometimes they are small parts. Like, to be a person who takes better care of her skin. Last year, I became that person. It feels great, and now what used to take effort and recall is just a part of my everyday existence.

Evolution on a larger scale doesn't happen overnight, however. But since I've adopted "resolve to evolve" as my approach, I've said goodbye to the failed New Year's Resolution. I've made some gains that were very valuable to me, and my evolving never stops, either. I keep learning more, growing more, in every way I intend to.

So, I invite you to join me. Never mind what you've already Resolved about what you're going to do in 2010. It's just a thing you said. You can just as easily resolve to evolve. Here's how it works for me in a few real life examples:

• In 2000, I decided I would heal my body, mind and heart and rid myself of some chains and pains I had gathered as a haggard, depressed working mom in the wrong lifestyle. I wanted to evolve into a healthier, happier person, like I knew I was on the inside. I thought it might happen while I completed a children's book manuscript that had been requested of me by a top notch editor. That's not what happened. But I did gain the clarity and renewal I needed after I quit my job, went freelance and started taking Pilates classes, then teaching Pilates. If you read the very first entry of this blog, The Shape of Your Life, you'll find reference to that time period. Deciding to evolve, consciously, is simply a way of shaping your life.
• A couple of years ago I wanted to evolve into a person who talks 30% less. To me that meant I would learn to refrain from sharing my opinion so much, and become someone who spoke less overall, especially in areas that weren't of primary concern to me. I intended 1/3 less, but that probably didn't happen, yet. But I did manage to cut out a lot of superfluous words in areas of my life that really mattered. I do talk a lot for my job, but I have a better grasp of when I'm talking too much or causing distraction. I can stop chatting sooner and refocus. I also was able to cut back on uneeded words in my personal life by adopting the one word mantra, "Refrain." I learned when not to over-drill my point with my husband or kids, and to avoid senseless debate on any topic that isn't likely to arrive at a positive shared view. It's hard to believe I used to talk MORE, but it's true! I'm still evolving in this way; it's such an important area of development for me.
• Currently, I'm in the middle of evolving into a person who makes sure she lives by her intentions. I've recently added to my view on this: I intend to be a solid advocate for myself, reclaim my own time and self-scheduling, and follow my gut when it comes to what I will do with my writing. All of that rolls into one phase of evolution which is proving to be such a strong inspiration for my coming year. Oh, and part of all this is that I intend to evolve back into the well-read person I was long ago. I'm making time for something I love. A book a month...yay! I'm starting The God of Small Things tonight. A cool title, when you think about all the small things that go into a choice to evolve.

So, what about you? Let me know how you resolve to evolve this year. Feel free to state your intentions here!